I like how you describe what the crowd is doing, but I need to know a little more in some places. I got a little confused over when they were running, and then they were looking, and then they were doing something else. It all just seemed a little too broken up. I know those scenes are supposed to go pretty fast, but I became distracted trying to keep up with what the crowd was doing, and then not doing, when I thought they were supposed to be doing something else. It was hard to keep the continuity of the picture in my head going strong. I had to concentrate too much on the words to make it work well for me.