Comments on: The Journey of St. Laurent, Chapter 19

By: Bryce Beattie

Bryce Beattie — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:42:54 +0000

Hey Jared, long time. Can’t wait to see you guys (& meet the rest of your kids – it’s been forever) on Christmas.

By: Jared

Jared — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 02:11:55 +0000

Bryce,

Just trying to get caught up on Corbins adventures. Great chapter by the way. I really enjoy reading this stuff.

One comment on this one though. I’m not any kind of editor or anything but I didn’t notice it mentioned by the others here.

“You all have a nice day.” The long haired attendant thrust the two grocery bags of food onto Michael’s lap and smirked.

Texas locals tend to say “y’all”

keep it up bro.

By: Ballsack McNasty

Ballsack McNasty — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:31:04 +0000

Still got me wrapped up.

-“Oh, one more thing. Is there a pharmacy around here, or a medical supply house, that might still be open? One that might have supplies for diabetics?”- There is no need for the comma after the word “house.”

-I also told London about the convoy, and the hospital.- Also, no comma needed after the word “convoy.”

By: RobSmith

RobSmith — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:37:21 +0000

Good work Bryce!

Only thing I saw wrong was “The each boy held a shotgun.”

By: DarcZombie

DarcZombie — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:47:41 +0000

Rock on Bryce. I love this man! The story is progressing so nicely I can’t wait to add this one to Oasis!

By: Jordan Johnson

Jordan Johnson — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 01:50:01 +0000

another great chapter. But I noticed one typo: The each boy held a shotgun=should be each boy held a shotgun. Oh and for the record I’m Irishking from Twitter..lol

By: Sasquatch

Sasquatch — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 16:31:00 +0000

Sounds like the calm before the storm! Another good chapter man, keep up the good work.

By: girl

girl — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 02:55:22 +0000

hmmm…good!! The last commotion at a hospitaL didn’t turn out too well for our hero!

By: Bryce Beattie

Bryce Beattie — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:35:17 +0000

Oh, and I’ve got to start writing when I’m not so tired. I just don’t know when that would be…

By: Bryce Beattie

Bryce Beattie — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:22:06 +0000

You’re awesome, DarcKnyt. They went to San Antonio because besides Six Flags, it has the Alamo and a Ripley’s believe-it-or-not, and Atlanta had neither of those. Plus, London wouldn’t be able to get away from her evil stepmom if they were partying in Georgia.

The box would be the box the gun came in when it was purchased. Still the same gun. I’ll see if I can’t make that a little more understandable before it goes to print.