Comments on: The Journey of St. Laurent, Chapter 21 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/ Action Adventure Fiction and Other Stuff from Bryce Beattie Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:53:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ivonne http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-14089 Ivonne Wed, 15 Sep 2010 05:04:33 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-14089 Thanks for publishing those chapters. I would like to print them out so I can easily grab it anytime that I feel like reading. Thanks for publishing those chapters. I would like to print them out so I can easily grab it anytime that I feel like reading.

]]> By: John http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-10972 John Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:20:07 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-10972 She muttered something that sounded like “aight (or alright),” and stormed out of the room. She muttered something that sounded like “aight (or alright),” and stormed out of the room.

]]> By: Bryce Beattie http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6631 Bryce Beattie Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:40:12 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6631 Colheita, yes indeed, it will be published in paperback sometime after I'm done. Colheita, yes indeed, it will be published in paperback sometime after I’m done.

]]> By: Colheita Feliz http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6608 Colheita Feliz Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:45:23 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6608 Will this get published in paper form? I think you have a lot of talent, congrats! Will this get published in paper form? I think you have a lot of talent, congrats!

]]> By: water dispenser http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6267 water dispenser Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:54:08 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6267 Keep up the great work man, as with the first book, this one has turned into a serious page turner!! Can’t wait for the next chapter. Keep up the great work man, as with the first book, this one has turned into a serious page turner!! Can’t wait for the next chapter.

]]> By: Chad http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6137 Chad Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:14:21 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6137 Bryce, you have me eagerly awaiting the next portion of the Saga. Great story line, great ideas! Keep it up! Congrats on the newest edition to the family too!!! Bryce, you have me eagerly awaiting the next portion of the Saga. Great story line, great ideas! Keep it up! Congrats on the newest edition to the family too!!!

]]> By: RobSmith http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6028 RobSmith Sun, 13 Sep 2009 19:05:29 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6028 great chapter Byrce, you really captured the tenseness of the situation of an overprotective mother. I only noticed two mistakes: 4th paragraph "Jenna’s mom climbed back in and slammed the car in drive. He cranked the wheel and goosed the gas." Shouldn't it be 'she' cranked the wheel etc? about halfway down: 'I turned around and wiped the sweat from my forehead. _I’ve got to get Nina to tone it down or get out of here. She’ s oozing stress. And cheap perfume." ' You've got an underscore instead of speech marks. great chapter Byrce, you really captured the tenseness of the situation of an overprotective mother.

I only noticed two mistakes:

4th paragraph “Jenna’s mom climbed back in and slammed the car in drive. He cranked the wheel and goosed the gas.”

Shouldn’t it be ‘she’ cranked the wheel etc?

about halfway down:

‘I turned around and wiped the sweat from my forehead. _I’ve got to get Nina to tone it down or get out of here. She’ s oozing stress. And cheap perfume.” ‘

You’ve got an underscore instead of speech marks.

]]> By: Jordan Johnson http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6027 Jordan Johnson Sun, 13 Sep 2009 05:38:47 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6027 another great chapter Bryce. Nina is such an annoying character. I hope London just pops her in the face...heh heh another great chapter Bryce. Nina is such an annoying character. I hope London just pops her in the face…heh heh

]]> By: Glenn http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6025 Glenn Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:49:46 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6025 Bryce, that was a truly excellent chapter. Keep up the great work man, as with the first book, this one has turned into a serious page turner!! Can't wait for the next chapter. Glenn Bryce, that was a truly excellent chapter. Keep up the great work man, as with the first book, this one has turned into a serious page turner!! Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Glenn

]]> By: girl http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/comment-page-1/#comment-6024 girl Sat, 12 Sep 2009 04:52:30 +0000 http://www.storyhack.com/2009/09/11/the-journey-of-st-laurent-chapter-21/#comment-6024 reading this made me all the more thankful for epidurals! Good chapter! reading this made me all the more thankful for epidurals! Good chapter!

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