Comments on: The Journey of St. Laurent, Chapter 24

By: Tyler

Tyler — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:18:15 +0000

Heyy man this is really great stuff! Read through Oasis last night, was so hooked I havent slept for almost 48 hours! Got my way through this one today too! Nice work!

By: Chad

Chad — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:02:14 +0000

Good to have you back! Hope you had a good Turkey Day. Enjoy your Christmas with your family! I look forward to reading more when you find time! Thanks for entertaining me!!!!

By: Ballsack McNasty

Ballsack McNasty — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:07:28 +0000

I was expecting a Wicked Watermelon of Doom, but I’ll take the avacado.

Everyone else caught all the errors I found… save one.

“Yeah, great pla- Corbin, you’ve got to see this.” — While we all knew what the case was here, this is incorrect. It can almost be considered a run-on sentence. Maybe have London do something in between? For example; “Yeah, great pla-” London was cut off by something that caught her attention. “Corbin, you’ve got to see this.”

Or something.

Until next time.

By: Toothy

Toothy — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:28:47 +0000

P.S
I don’t like the taste of avocado

By: Toothy

Toothy — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:17:15 +0000

Ha! Space avocado of death! Never could have thought of it…

By: Glenn

Glenn — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:17:45 +0000

Good grief Bryce!! You sure know how to leave us in suspense now don’t you!! Loved the “Space Avocado of Death”!!! Keep up the great work!!

By: DarcKnyt

DarcKnyt — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:42:14 +0000

Woo! Tension and excitement! This is a great edge-of-the-seat thrill ride installment, Bryce! So great to see Corbin back in action. A nice job of moving the pulse up; it’s like you didn’t miss a beat. Bravo!

And now your favorite part — albeit brief this time:

I slammed on the breaks.
This is “brakes”.

“Its shooting at us!”
This is the contraction form “it’s”.

Awesomeness abounding; can’t wait for the next one. Hope all Beatties are well.

By: Coronado

Coronado — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:28:44 +0000

Nice man just something I noticed though “At last until we’re out of gas” It should probably be “at least”.

By: Jordan Johnson

Jordan Johnson — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:20:51 +0000

whoot great new chapter! Hopefully London can kill whatever that thing is. Another great one Bryce! Have a good weekend