In Corbin’s defense – He’s in emergency medicine. Working as an EMT and as an ER nurse, it’s pretty much life and death every day so he’s no stranger to stress. He knows how to make a decision and move on. He just doesn’t always make the right one.

In my defense – I really don’t have one, but here goes my excuse anyway- It’s pulp action adventure, not “literature”.

Thanks for reading despite the weaknesses. By the time I’m on my fourth or fifth book, I’m going to be awesome…

A few things that bothered me (not trying to be critical, just food for thought):

When he broke the terrorist out he was willing to break in a jails door to get in but then just lets the most dangerous man of the decade out of his cell hoping he will play nice, instead of grabbing the Ruger and forcing a location out of the guy from the other side of cell door. It makes it hard for me to really like/respect the lead but perhaps that’s just me.

When he saves London and Mike, it seemed like they just kinda fell in with him a bit too easy. He’s on a potentially dangerous mission to find a terrorist, aliens are shooting people with death rays, left Beth a day ago, and hey, why not, lets travel together. Seriously, you helped enough Corbin, drop that b**ch off at the next gas station and get to work already.

Hope I don’t come off as rude or abusive, just unloading some of the things I was pondering while I have been reading and I guess I have to check back now and again now, since I’ve already read so far and now need to see where this all goes.
Keep up the good work.

Jordan – I shoot these days for at least 1500 words/chapter. sometimes it goes a bit longer, especially if it takes me more than one week to get it posted.

Anyway, the ending is pretty exciting. Well worth the wait.

Very good stuff. I love me some gun-totin’ survivalist anti-government Ted Nugent-lovin’ crackpots, don’t you? That’s what makes America great.

Good work on this, B. And now for the fun part. It’s like Christmas every week, isn’t it? Heh. Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

“Well, what? We both know you’re not. Just get on your radio and tell Jex he has guests.“
Forgot to close the quotes here.

London leaned over and whispered, “Wow, from his voice on the radio I expected someone-”
Just a suggestion — and not the first one, I had a lot of ‘em about wording I didn’t make ’cause I’ve never been clear on how you feel about that sort of thing — I’d make this em-dash an ellipsis. An ellipsis indicates a trailing off in dialog; an em-dash (generally) shows being CUT off. The next sentence (Corbin finishing her thought) indicates he didn’t interrupt her, but picked up the line of reasoning. Just sayin’.

I nearly rolled my eyes. No, we just drove the whole way out here just to stare at you. “That’s why we’re here.”
If it were me, I’d cut that first “just”. The second one is better place, adds the tone of sarcasm, and works. The first one is fine too, by itself; but don’t leave both in the sentence.

…You just can’t use steel or steel jacketed ammo very well. It gets caught up in the enemy’s magnetic shield….
I think the “in” is missing where I’ve indicated.

That’s about it for the … uh … “help” this week. Good to see your stuff back online! Woo! Can’t wait for the next one.

Happy Easter, Bud!

London leaned over and whispered, “Wow, from his voice on the radio I expected someone-”
Just a suggestion — and not the first one, I had a lot of ‘em about wording I didn’t make ’cause I’ve never been clear on how you feel about that sort of thing — I’d make this em-dash an ellipsis. An ellipsis indicates a trailing off in dialog; an em-dash (generally) shows being CUT off. The next sentence (Corbin finishing her thought) indicates he didn’t interrupt her, but picked up the line of reasoning. Just sayin’.

I nearly rolled my eyes. No, we just drove the whole way out here just to stare at you. “That’s why we’re here.”
If it were me, I’d cut that first “just”. The second one is better place, adds the tone of sarcasm, and works. The first one is fine too, by itself; but don’t leave both in the sentence.