I was once again stricken with the urge to write bad poetry. Happy Halloween everybody.
To every activity there’s a time and a season,
And when it comes to hobbies, folks have their reasons.
But none knows exactly what went wrong inside her
When Yvette designed and built a giant robot spider.
Crazy money she made from trade empires and commissions,
And her brother had access to steel from demolitions.
So when we started a recycling foundry
The press, they applauded her ecological ability.
Weird Yvette drove down to the plant after close
Every night she toiled building girders in droves.
Servos and gears in bulk she ordered.
Science knowledge filled her head without boarders.
Six years she toiled in secret after hours
and clandestined ’nuff stuff to build a large tower.
‘Till finally the hydraulics were finished all in all
Eight legs, laser eyes over two stories tall.
A spider of metal built far out in the sand
of the desert was ready to strike terror in the land.
The product of talent, hard work, and her money
was ready to destroy, ‘cuz she thought it’d be funny.
First place that it hit was a very small town.
Crushed the car of the sheriff, turned all the pants brown.
With web of steel cable, and with powerful winches
Pulled down water towers, just as easy as cinches.
The govn’r knowing that the fight would be hard
Called up militias and the national guard.
But their bullets were puny for the spider’s thick steel
And large, mighty pincers lifted Humvees off wheels.
In desperation the army tried to kill it with fire,
might as well should have gathered and sung in a choir.
‘Cuz the spider undaunted continued to pound
Cement buildings and freeways right into the ground.
Crushing legs, burning lasers, stinging rockets and cable
The spider destroyed all that it was able.
The monstrous contraption cross country it crawled
Ov’r mountains, through citied, under skies without stall.
Black time without mercy the nation it faced
As toward the capitol the spider did race.
All congress like ants scrambled, running away.
Yvette laughed at the TV in her lair on that day.
But finally of terror the evil genius got tired,
So she sent the command to the spider to hide.
Under water, down tranches, it hunkered down then
To wait on its master to call it again.
So parents take heed to that horrible sound.
It’s eight eight eyes full of lasers just outside your town.
Children take cover, take fear, take flight,
Or the giant robot spider will get you tonight.